Our Forever Family

It's fair to say that the best days of my life have all involved my family and the Temple. Now I have another day to add to the list. Today, our eternal family grew by one more as Spencer was sealed to us and became an official part of our forever family.

We came to Oakland to have him sealed to us because my parents are serving a mission here. They couldn't come to us, so we went to them. James and I were also married in the Oakland Temple so it seemed fitting that we would complete our family here as well. But while we were blessed to have several close friends and family members here with us, we did miss many of our wonderful Utah friends who have become like family to us.

We've been trying to prepare the boys for this day by talking to them about what would happen and what a special day it would be. I'm not sure how much of it sunk in but Spencer kept singing "I Love to See the Temple" all day. It was very cute.

When they brought him up to the sealing room, he was a little apprehensive. He looked around the room and didn't see me, so he started to hide behind the nice sister who brought him up. Then he peeked back out and looked around and finally saw me. He ran across the room, launched himself into my lap and buried his head into my shoulder. I couldn't see it, but apparently he flashed one of his famous Spencer smiles on the way to me.

After the Temple, we all headed to my brother Eric's house for Spencer's Blessing and lunch. James blessed Spencer that he would make correct choices in his life and grow up to be an honorable man and priesthood holder. It was a wonderful blessing.

And Eric really out did himself with the food and festivities afterward. I'm lucky to have a brother in the party planning business and he was gracious enough to let us use his backyard and his brother in law as top griller. He even got the squirt guns out so the boys could get wet and cool off on this hot summer day.

Today has also brought up wonderful memories of another wonderful day six years ago when our Bubs was sealed to us. I will never forget when he came into the sealing room, he looked around at all the people and just beamed one of his famous AJ smiles. He was feeling a bit bent out of shape because of all the fuss over Spencer today. I tried to tell him that we made just as big a fuss over him back in the day, but he was just too young to remember.

And now we have two wonderful boys who are all ours -- forever.
I know this post is missing some of my usual writing style. I think it's because I am so tired but I really wanted to get these pictures and historical record down today, while it is still fresh. I promise to be back to my sometimes-snarky self soon.

A Family, At Last

I'm interrupting my posts about our recent travels to bring you the lastest breaking news from our house. It's official, legal and all the rest: Spencer is ours and we are his with all the rights, duties and responsibilities that entails. Judge Denise P. Lindberg made it all official this morning and we close one chapter of our lives and open another one.

Building our family has been a long and drawn out process. If you had asked me in 1995 what my family would like in 2009, never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured it this way. But God works in mysterious ways and he built our family under his plan, not ours. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bringing Spencer into our family has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The poor child didn't deserve what had happened to him in the first three and a half years of his life. And the emotional wounds were deep. There were plenty of days where I didn't feel like I was up to the task of being who he needed me to be to help him heal and live up to his potential.

But at some point, we moved out of crisis mode and realized a new normal in our home. We got Spencer off the sippy cup, out of diapers and into speech therapy. We spent a small fortune on therapy bills for all of us and begain to sharpen our parenting skills. We addressed Spencer's anxiety issues and adjusted medication. We rid the house of peanuts and tree nuts and got an epipen, asthma inhaler and a new reality.

We have two energetic boys who are real brothers now. They play together, they fight together, they tease and taunt and do all the things that real brothers do.

I feel a huge sense of relief too. For most of the past seven years, we've lived in the "waiting-to- adopt" world. In a lot of ways, it's a life on hold -- never knowing when the call might come and your whole life will change in an instant. No more squirreling money away into the "baby fund" or holding on to baby stuff just in case we need it. It is very freeing knowing what our family will look like and be from here on out. I can make a plan without wondering in the back of my head how we might have to change it if we get a call from the agency. There will be no more calls from the agency. We are done. And that just feels right.

God works in mysterious ways. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Southern Utah Tour Day 2: Grand Staircase and Bryce Canyon

The second day of our journey took us on one of the most scenic byways in America: Utah's Highway 12. I can see why they say that it is. The terrain is so varied and so amazing. We took off out of Torrey and down towards Boulder. And by down, I mean south because you have to go up and over Boulder Mountain to get there. The views from the top are amazing. You can see all the way to the La Sal Mountains which are on the far eastern side of Utah. And of course, up there at over 9,000 feet you are in Pine trees and Aspens, but you are overlooking the red rocks and swells Capitol Reef.

One the other side of the Mountain, we stopped in Boulder to go to the Anasazi State Park where we saw the ruins of an ancient civilization. Very cool. Could not imagine living in something that small. But very cool. A few pics:

Then the road continues down through the tip of the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument. There are a lot of hard feelings over how President Clinton created this monument - even going to Arizona to announce it's creation instead of coming here. I worked in the Governor's Office at the time and it really was one of the nastiest political *screwings* I ever witnessed. But I will have to say, the part of it I saw was spectacular. (Although I understand the rest isn't as amazing. And how could it be? The thing is HUGE!) So here's our collage of the Scenic Drive:
Then on to Bryce Canyon. My grandfather brought us here when I was a teenager, but that was a long time ago and I only remember driving up and looking at it, not spending much time there. At Bryce, you are mostly at the top of the canyon, looking down and out on all the hoodoos (fancy rock formations). Not a good place if you are afraid of heights. We didn't do any hiking down into the canyon, but we did do some at the top: even hiked to a Bristle Cone Pine tree. And we tried not to let the rude German tourists ruin our whole day. (They were just sure we were going to let our kids fall over the edge. If they had been in a car with them for two days straight they might have let them too. ;0)) That night we stayed at the world famous Ruby's Inn just outside the park.

The kind of strange thing about the trip to this point was the lack of other families. We saw a few kids in Capitol Reef by the campground but none at the hotel and none at the restaurant. And in Bryce Canyon, I would say 90% off the people we saw were older European Tourists. I felt like we stuck out like a sore thumb. But really, I can't complain about the boys. They did really well on the whole trip. Tomorrow I will share more of our trip including St. George and Zion National Park.

First Stop on our Southern Utah Tour: Capitol Reef

Earlier this month, we took the opportunity to go explore Utah. James had a conference to go to in St. George and I convinced him to bring us along since AJ was out of school that week anyway. Then we decided to throw in some national parks while were were at it. So I am going to spend the next few days showing you the wonders of the western half of Utah's red rock country. (We're hoping to do the eastern half in the fall.)

I've been to most of places of any consequence in Utah either when I was working for the state, or just for fun. But the first day of our journey took us to a part of the state I'd never been to before: Wayne County and Capitol Reef National Park. We drove through the tiny towns of Sigurd, Loa, Bicknell, Teasdale and arrived in the booming town of Torrey. (Not much booming there, but compared to the other's it's a real big town complete with an Internet Cafe.)

Just past Torrey you enter Capitol Reef National Park. While you might think all the Red Rocks look the same, the ones in Capitol Reef have more variation in color. And you can't really tell from these pictures, but the middle of the canyon is lush an green. Here's my picasa collage of our day there (click on it to see it bigger):

In Capitol Reef, you are mostly at the bottom of the canyon, although there is an area where you do over look the Goosenecks that is really cool too. The other really cool thing about Capitol Reef compared to other National Park's I've been to so that there is an ever so tiny pioneer town right in the middle of it called Fruita. It gets it's name from the orchards that are there. It really did amaze me how much grew right there in the desert. If you ever make it there, be sure to get some truely yummy pie at the Gifford Farm house too.

The boys loved climbing rocks and checking out all the petroglyphs too. I loved finding all the wild flowers in bloom at all of our stops along the way. We kept the boys entertained by pointing out rock formations and trying to explain how they came to be. (Wish I'd taken more geology classes in college.)

If you ever get the chance to do it, go to Capitol Reef. It is a little remote and out of the way, but well worth the trip for sure. Come back tomorrow and I will share the second day of the journey.

Spring in Utah

I've been very absent lately. I've been busy with the boys and with my business lately. And we've been out of town twice in the last two months too. But more on that another time.

Last week, Spring was in full swing in my yard. Here are a few of the treasures:

Creeping Phlox

Tulips

Flowering Cherry Tree

And my very favorite: Lilacs

If or when we ever move away from here, I will definitely miss these flowers. I know you can grow these things other places but I love that they all bloom right around Mother's Day.

25 Random things about Me

This is going around Facebook. But I thought since it has been a while since I posted here I would put it here too. The rules are you have to write 25 random things about yourself. If any of you aren't on Facebook, you could do it on your blog too.

1. My prefrontal cortex is unusually large and that is why I hoard so many thing. (That's my story and I am sticking to it). From cute little brads to bags of candy. What if I use them up and then need more? What if I can't find more when I need them? What if a better project comes along? My new years resolution is no more hoarding. Especially craft supplies. I mean, really, just how many packages of Stampin' Up's Dashing Designer Series Paper does a girl need? They'll eventually make something else I like just as much, right?

2. I can't watch TV shows on TV anymore. I have to wait until they come out on DVD so I don't have to watch (or fast forward) through the commercials and I don't have to wait a whole week to find out what happens next. I also have to watch shows in the order they originally aired. But that means I am always a year behind on the shows that everyone is watching right now. The only show I will watch on regular TV is the Amazing Race.

3. James and I met the first day of classes, our freshman year at Ricks College in Math Class. He was only 17. We got to be good friends first. We didn't go on our first date though until 3 years later and then we got married a year after that. I hope my boys get to have that friendship part first too. (And it will always be Ricks College to us. Never BYU-Idaho)

4. When I was a child, I wanted to be a primary chorister when I grew up. I would line up my dolls and play primary all the time. And as an adult, it's the best church calling I've ever had.

5. I love to sing in choirs and small groups. I've sung every part from first soprano all the way down to tenor. I prefer to sing Alto though because I hear harmony, not melody in my head when I hear music. The highlight of this for me was singing in General Conference with a couple hundred other people.

6. I'm a political junkie and always have been. I remember liking Jimmy Carter better than Gerald Ford because he was smiling in the cartoon drawing on the front of my brother's Weekly Reader when I was four. Ronald Reagan was my childhood hero. I still believe he made the world a better place. In college, I really wanted to do a congressional internship in Washington DC but was always the backup choice instead of the first choice. That is how I ended up settling for an internship in the Governor's Office which lead to a job there.

7. I've been watching the Today show almost everyday for more than 30 years. It probably turned me into a political junkie. I still mourn the loss of Tim Russert.

8. When I watched the 1994 Winter Olympics I decided I really wanted to be involved in the execution of an Olympics some day. The next year, Salt Lake City was awarded the games on the day I was officially hired by the Governor's Office. I took a job at the Department of Public Safety in 2000 so I could have an official assignment with the Utah Olympic Public Safety Command. I was lucky enough to attend the Opening and Closing Ceremonies, a hockey game and a speed skating event. I love the Olympics.

9. I saw KISS's final live performance with the Stanley/Simmons/Frehley/Singer lineup, but I am not a fan. They performed at the Closing Ceremonies but so did Bon Jovi so it was all worth it. Other concerts I've attended: Beach Boys, Joe Jackson, Depeche Mode, Billy Joel and Elton John. I still hope to see U2 before I die.

10. I gave up chocolate for my new year's resolution in 1990 and now it makes me sick. But I love sweets, especially caramel and peanut butter. Raspberry Coconut Zingers are especially yummy right now.

11. I used to consider myself a craft reject. Now I get paid to make hand crafted items and teach other how to do it too. Creating is my therapy. It makes me happy to see other people discover it too.

12. I have selective OCD. Some things that set it off include: stamping, scrapbooking, shopping, Disneyland, cars, Facebook, Split Coast Stampers, food, swapping, Wii, the Utah Jazz, (ok, maybe it's not so selective). I wish I could have it about things that were good for me like exercise, veggies, etc.

13. I'm a procrastinator. I will never do today what I can put off til tomorrow. But I work well under pressure and I'm pretty good on my feet with very little preparation. I think that is why I loved the PR work I did. It was always flying by the seat of your pants. It drives the planners in my life absolutely crazy though.

14. I have a strange kind of shyness/social anxiety. I would rather give a presentation to hundreds of people than to make small talk with someone I don't know one on one. The larger the group, the more comfortable I feel.

15. I have this fear that my hair style will be so out dated that everyone will know exactly what year I graduated from school or got married. So I change it frequently. That's led to some really awkward hair styles. But it's only hair and it grows back.

16. I cry way too easily. I have a hard time talking about things that are really important to me like family, friends, faith, God without turning into a blubbering idiot! I hate it and wish I could just shut the tears off. I also cry during almost any movie. I just can't help it. Even the ones that aren't suppose to be sad.

17. I'm allergic to too many things. Like the sun, avocados, most other fresh fruits and vegetables in addition to pretty much anything that grows and pollinates. Unfortunately, my boys have allergies too and I hate it. It's a life sentence for them.

18. I hate to fly because I get claustrophobic, restless leg syndrome and air sick. But I love to travel. I have visited 27 states in my life time. My goal is to get to the other 23. I like to visit the things that make that area unique, like the Okefenokee Swamp in Georgia, the Chattanooga Choo Choo in Tennessee, Manitou Springs in Colorado and Harpers Ferry in West Virginia.

19. I grew up in California and never went surfing. I now live in Utah and I've never been skiing. I actually hate the beach because of the sand that gets everywhere and I hate the snow because it makes me cold.

20. I've lived in my current home for 10 years and it's the longest I've ever lived in any house my entire life. I would really like to move, but we're afraid James will just get transferred as soon as we buy a new house.

21. I would love to live in the Washington DC area for a few years. It's part of the political junkie and history buff in me. But even though it's a real possibility that it could happen with James' job, because I really want it to happen, I doubt it will.

22. I love it when my boys smile at me. I also love it when they are playing nicely together. I feel like a successful mom when these things happen. But most of the time, I worry that I am not doing enough to help them become successful adults. I love them more than I could possibly say.

23. The most spiritual experience of my entire life was A.J.'s birthmom placing him in my arms. It's the only time in my life when I have ever been so overwhelmed I was speechless. The most heart wrenching experience of my life was watching Spencer's previous adoptive mother say goodbye to him. I still cry when I think about it.

24. I am thankful to come from a good family who offers unconditional love. I don't have to worry about being disowned or written out of the will because that's just not the way they are. I wish my brothers lived closer so that my boys could know and love their aunts, uncles and cousins.

25. I am blessed with many wonderful friends. I get strength from them to face the hard days. I worry about them when they are sad, lonely, sick or hurt and I love to celebrate with them when things turn around for the better. Women are so lucky to have other women to laugh and cry with. Men don't know what they are missing.

The Case of the Mysterious Missing Socks

We have quite a mystery at our house. Even though I buy lots of socks for every member of our household and James does a great job keeping up on the laundry, no one EVER seems to have clean, matching socks. NEVER!

When Spencer came to live with us, I went out and bought a brand new package of socks for him. I think there were nine pair. Then there were the socks he came with and several pairs of hand-me-downs from A.J. The kid must have 18 pairs of socks. Yet every day, it's the same thing: NO SOCKS!

I have the same problem. It's rare that I wear socks from May-October so I forget until the snow flies that I don't have any socks. Then I go out and buy six or so pairs and by January, it's the same thing: NO SOCKS!

A.J., well, his foot is getting so big these days. I frequently find his socks mixed in with my socks (did I mention he told me this morning that all his size 3 shoes are too small for him?), but still not pairs of socks. Grandma sent two more packages for Christmas so he is doing a bit better right now but I am sure by Valentine's Day there will be the same thing: NO SOCKS!

Where do they go? That seems to be the question that everyone is asking. Do a "missing sock" search on Google and you will find 368,000 hits. Really? Does Chris Hansen over at Dateline NBC know about this?

I think our soon-to-be President Obama needs to form a panel study the missing socks. It very well could be a serious national security crisis. What if terrorists are taking all our socks to throw us off our game? At the very least, it could be the cause of our economic woes. Families are forced to buy more and more socks, leaving them with less money to spend on mortgage payments and durable goods. Think about it.

In the mean time, I will keep looking for our missing socks and sending Spencer and AJ to school in mismatched socks so no one look underneath those pant legs. K.

PS - If you have any theories about what happens to the socks or where I should look for mine, feel free to share in the comment section.

TV and Spencer Updates

First of all, since so many people have asked, yes, we did finally buy a TV set. The 42" inch Vizio from Costco . And then we had a whole cable issue that took most of a week to fix. I just hate that a certain cable company has a monopoly on high speed Internet access in my neighborhood. I could seriously rant about this company for an hour. But I won't because no one would read it anyway.

I do looooove to watch the Jazz in HD. (Hence the need for cable.) What an improvement over the old way of watching the games. Last night I was exhausted (not much in the way of sleep the night before) so I went upstairs to watch the end of the game from bed on our tiny TV. So not the same experience.

And I actually picked out a new TV stand in less than a week. Not bad if I do say so myself. I don't just love it but it wasn't too expensive anyway so when I am sick of it, or we move, we can get a better one.

Second, everyone asks how Spencer is doing and how our family is adjusting. The answer is great to the first and depends on the day for the second. He's a wonderful addition to our family in so many ways. I love his little smile and how the first thing he says to me every morning is, "Will you make me some Oatmeal please?" (OK, sometimes that's the second or third thing but it is very cute the way he says it.) He can still throw a good tantrum and is easily frustrated, but he's three and that's pretty standard.

AJ, on the other hand, has not adjusted so well. He has regressed back to age three and is throwing as many tantrums as Spencer and his are a little harder to deal with because he is so big. (I can pick Spencer up and put him in time out. AJ is getting ready to try out for the Utah Jazz next year so I can't lift him anymore.)

Spencer started his therapeutic preschool program this week at the Children's Center. It's only costing us a small fortune and James' right kidney (but he still has his left one so it's OK) but we felt strongly that they had the right program to help him through this rough patch in his life. Here he is on the first day of school:


AJ will also be seeing a therapist at the Children's Center to help him sort out why his world has turned upside down. It might be a bit of over kill, but I'd rather him get all his frustration and anger out now than when he's 14.

James and I are also taking a parenting class there too because we need all the help we can get right now. The first class was Monday and covered the importance of playing with your children. Seems like such a basic concept but really, how much time do I really spend on the floor playing with my kids?

I've made a concerted effort this week to do that with both boys, one on one. And it's been fun. Of course that mean playing trucks and geo trax, but it is fun to see what "story lines" they come up with to go along with the play. AJ's was all about Krakatoa, the massive volcano that erupted in 1883 in Indonesia, (in case you missed that documentary on the Weather Channel). Spencer is always about the "bad guy."

I think the other thing I learned there this week is that mine aren't the worst kids around. There are three and four-year-olds pulling knives on their parents out there people. We are so OK here.

But there are some interesting things about becoming a parent mid stream in a child's life. Like he told me his ear hurt yesterday. If AJ told me his ear hurt, I would rush him to Insta-Care because he has never told me his ear hurts and he's had some pretty bad ear infections. I don't know what Spencer is like when he is sick. He didn't sleep well the night before but that isn't unusual when James is out of town. He also has been exceptionally cranky this week, but also, dad is gone and he started school and his life is all different, again. I took him to the doctor today and he got a clean bill of health. So now I am officially one of those crazy moms who take their children to the doctor when there is nothing wrong.

But we managed to survive Christmas (barely). Spencer was so cute on Christmas morning. Every time he opened a gift, he would say, "Thank you! Me love you!" A.J. ran around saying, "Mine. Mine." Not so cute. Maybe I should show him the video tape so he can see how it looked. I didn't take any pictures on Christmas, just video. But this one was taken the Sunday before Christmas. Aren't they handsome:


P.S. Try not to read too much into the fact that I talked about the TV before I talked about my kids. I do love them more than the TV. Really.