My Social Media Pledge

This is a post I've been thinking about for sometime.  It's one of the reasons I decided to start blogging again.  And I know I promised just a few days ago that I wouldn't get preachy so I'll really try not to do that.

I'm a social person by nature and have always treasured my friendships with others.  So when Facebook came along, it seemed like such a great way to connect with all the people in my life past and present.  What could possibly go wrong?

About a year after I joined, something terrible happened in the neighborhood we lived in at the time: Susan Powell disappeared under mysterious circumstances.  Susan was a member of our Relief Society presidency and I was the counselor over activities.  It was just a few weeks before Christmas and later that same week, we had planned to hold a Relief Society potluck dinner and service project.
 
We deliberated as a presidency and consulted with our bishop about whether we should cancel the activity given the circumstances. It was decided that what our ward family needed right then was to be together and to do this service project.  Besides, Susan wouldn't have wanted us to cancel it.  So I posted this on my Facebook page: "Hoping to see my ward sisters at our Relief Society potluck and service project tonight. I know our minds are elsewhere, but let's get together and make some blankets for those less fortunate than ourselves."  

Just a few minutes later, I received this private message from "Jane Johnson":  "Are you kidding me??? You are worried about a 'Damn' Potluck Dinner and our friend is missing? You can't be serious. Where are your priorities? Cancel the Dinner and start searching for 'hell' sakes!!" 

I don't know a Jane Johnson.  No one by that name lived in our neighborhood or attended our ward.  I believed at the time that it was someone I knew that was hiding behind a pseudo name. At first I was angry.  I’ve never had anything sent like that to me personally before. Then I realized, I was mostly hurt.  Hurt that someone would call me out personally like that and question my motives. Hurt that someone would think I cared more about a party than Susan.

In the days and weeks to come, I would see another friend mocked and scorned publicly on Facebook.  Her only crime?  Wanting desperately to find out what happened to her friend. And I also saw the hurt on her face.

All of this was very eye opening to me and it completely changed the way I used Facebook.  I locked down my privacy settings and stopped taking private messages from people who weren't on my friends list.  And obviously if I still think about it all these years later, it really did have a profound impact on me.

For all the good that social media platforms provide, they also offer a place for others to be just plain mean.  People post things they would never in a million years say to someone face to face. It has sort of dulled our humanity to some extent.

Imagine if everyone on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, message and comment boards and all other social media platforms took a pledge of kindness and respect.  A pledge something like this: 

• I pledge to always consider others feelings, not only you who read my posts, but even politicians, celebrities, athletes and others in the public spotlight, before I hit post.  Maybe Thumper's mom should have said, "If you can't TYPE something nice, don't TYPE nothin' at all."

• If I choose to post or comment on a controversial topic, I pledge to be respectful to those who may have a different opinion.  Our opinions are formed by our experiences and perspective. And because all of us have different experiences and perspective, no two of us will every agree on every single thing.  And that is what makes our world such an interesting place.  I will try to be considerate and respectful of others experiences and perspective when sharing mine.

• I pledge to give you the benefit of the doubt.  I will assume that whatever you posted wasn't meant to personally offend me.  Maybe you and I fundamentally disagree on something. Or maybe it's just a bad day for one of us.  Maybe you were just trying to be verbally ironic. And if you really did mean to offend me, I promise to try and turn the other cheek.

• I pledge to share upbeat, positive and funny things whenever possible but still keep it real.  Yes, there is plenty of bad in the world. But I choose to believe there is infinitely more good if we just look for it.  And yes, I still have my struggles and bad moments and I may share those on occasion too.  Not to get your sympathy, but to show that everyone is human and no one, especially me, has a perfect life. (OK, maybe to get a little sympathy and support too.)

 What would you add to this pledge?  I'm sure I have forgotten something and would love to add to it.  Post a comment below and let me know what I missed.