A Family, At Last

I'm interrupting my posts about our recent travels to bring you the lastest breaking news from our house. It's official, legal and all the rest: Spencer is ours and we are his with all the rights, duties and responsibilities that entails. Judge Denise P. Lindberg made it all official this morning and we close one chapter of our lives and open another one.

Building our family has been a long and drawn out process. If you had asked me in 1995 what my family would like in 2009, never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured it this way. But God works in mysterious ways and he built our family under his plan, not ours. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bringing Spencer into our family has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The poor child didn't deserve what had happened to him in the first three and a half years of his life. And the emotional wounds were deep. There were plenty of days where I didn't feel like I was up to the task of being who he needed me to be to help him heal and live up to his potential.

But at some point, we moved out of crisis mode and realized a new normal in our home. We got Spencer off the sippy cup, out of diapers and into speech therapy. We spent a small fortune on therapy bills for all of us and begain to sharpen our parenting skills. We addressed Spencer's anxiety issues and adjusted medication. We rid the house of peanuts and tree nuts and got an epipen, asthma inhaler and a new reality.

We have two energetic boys who are real brothers now. They play together, they fight together, they tease and taunt and do all the things that real brothers do.

I feel a huge sense of relief too. For most of the past seven years, we've lived in the "waiting-to- adopt" world. In a lot of ways, it's a life on hold -- never knowing when the call might come and your whole life will change in an instant. No more squirreling money away into the "baby fund" or holding on to baby stuff just in case we need it. It is very freeing knowing what our family will look like and be from here on out. I can make a plan without wondering in the back of my head how we might have to change it if we get a call from the agency. There will be no more calls from the agency. We are done. And that just feels right.

God works in mysterious ways. And I wouldn't have it any other way.