Spencer meets Geo Trax

Adopting a three year old is so different from adopting a new born. When we adopted A.J., we met his birthmom before he was born once, and then we picked him up when he was two days old and that was that. Well, not really because we had that whole issue with his birthfather later. But really, the adjustment was much like what every first time parent goes through and A.J. doesn't remember anything, except being apart of our family.

This time, we are trying to bring a child into our family who already has a mom and a dad. He has a sister and a brother who he lives with now. I can't even imagine what he must think about what is going on right now. He doesn't talk much. Mostly just nods. So all we can do, is read his body language. But we are trying to make the transition as smooth as possible.

This afternoon, we brought him over to our home to get to know us better for a few hours. In the car on the way to our house, even with a movie on in the car, he seemed completely freaked out by what was happening. But he walked right in the door, took one look at the Geo Trax and went right to work. Pretty soon, James had built him quite a track to make all the trains go round and round.


A.J. brought over Addison to meet him too. Then he told Jen (Addison's mom), "Allow me to introduce you to my brother." So Jen and Keaton came over too. Again, Spencer's little face showed he was a bit freaked out. A new surrounding and so many new people. We put the bounce house up outside but all Spencer wanted to do was play Geo Trax. Thank goodness for Geo Trax.

A.J. played some too. Here they are together:

They look like good brother huh? Even if A.J. dwarfs Spencer in size.

We had dinner but Spencer didn't eat much. I guess the medication he is on doesn't leave him much of an appetite. After dinner, he went right back to playing Geo Trax. More neighbors stopped by and soon we had a house full again, and everyone, young and old was playing Geo Trax. Spencer just kind of sat there, trying to take it all in but a little scared about all the new people.

We took him back to his current home and he was soon back to his old self. Running around and playing with his brother and sister there. A.J. even joined in with the running around and playing for a few minutes.

As with A.J.'s adoption, things aren't going so smoothly on the legal side right now. For two weeks, LDS Family Services has been trying to get a reliquishment from Spencer's legal father. So far, it hasn't happened. Because he is in prison, they have to work with a Correction's social worker to arrange a time for him to sign. So far they've had little luck getting Corrections to even call them back. So placement will not happen this weekend like we had planned.

At first I was really disappointed because it's what we had planned. But now I think it will be nice to give Spencer a few more days to transition. We will see him tomorrow when we go to Barnyard Boo at Thanksgiving Point with his current extended family. Then on Sunday, we will bring him over here for a few hours before we take him to meet some cousins and an Aunt and Uncle. It gives us time to get his room finished and all ready for him. It's all cleaned out, but there is no furniture in it yet. Just toys and his name on the wall, thanks to Jen who made a name swag for him.

The other major challenge to this adoption is Child Protective Services. Because a negligance complaint was filed on his current mother, the state is going to hold a hearing on Tuesday and possibly place Spencer and his siblings in supervised custody. If that happens, she can't place Spencer for adoption through a private agency. We are hoping for an end run that will make it possible for us to have him in our family by then. Right now we are left with convincing everyone to do a legal risk placement on Monday or hoping they can get a relinquishment from the legal father before the hearing on Tuesday.

The hero of the story is the lead adoption worker at our LDS Family Services office, Lorna and her fellow caseworkers who are working on this case. When Spencer's mother came through the door, Lorna immediately thought of our family for him. When her boss was ready to through in the towel and conceed to the State, she convinced her the fight wasn't over. She told us tonight that she feels strongly that this placement needs to take place for Spencer's sake and for ours.

We're just praying she is right and leaving it in God's hands. To be continued, I'm sure. . .