Welcome Spencer - the Bitter and the Sweet

We got the call at 2:30 p.m. yesterday afternoon that we could pick up Spencer at 5:30 p.m. and sign paperwork and bring him home to our family. Wow! It was really going to happen. It would be a legal-risk placement but actually less of a risk than we took with A.J.

We arrived promptly at 5:30 p.m. but Spencer and his mom were running late, stuck in traffic. We went ahead and paid our placement fee and waited. It was about 45 minutes later when they arrived.

Five years ago, it was hard to watch A.J.'s birthmom say goodbye to him. But I couldn't even imagine how hard it was for her because I was pretty naive in those days about a mother's love.

Last night, it was excruciating to watch Spencer's mom say goodbye to him. I can't even think about it without crying again. She held him close and kept whispering, "I love you. I love you." My heart just shattered right there for both of them. What a brave, strong woman.

Once his mom left the room, he totally broke down. "Mommy. Mommy," he cried over and over again. My heart broke all over again. There was no consolling him, or me at that point. We just cried together. That was the bitter.

I signed my portion of the paperwork through tears and James was the strong one, thank goodness one of us could be.

Once that was done, I asked Spencer if he wanted to go home and play with the trains. He stopped crying, got in the car and we came home.

I had all the images in my mind of pictures at the agency and going out to dinner to celebrate. By time we finished it all, it was about 7:20 and we were in no shape to take pictures or to go out to dinner. We just came home.

Spencer did pretty well once we got here. He played trains with James and A.J. while I fixed dinner. He didn't each much dinner but that was OK. He took his night time medicine, but an hour later was still just as wound up so we gave him the rest of his dose.

We read for awhile and then it was time for sleep. Spencer cried for mom again but he let me hold him and sing to him this time and he went ot sleep pretty quick. That was the sweet.

He only woke up once at about 12:30 this morning and I got up with him, rocked him back to sleep and then decided to sleep on a mat on his floor in case it kept happening. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well and woke up with a stiff back this morning.

He woke up hungry and ready to eat a good breakfast. Apple sauce, yogurt and oatmeal. Not bad for a boy I've hardly seen eat anything. Here's A.J. and Spencer eating breakfast:

We've had a pretty good day so far. We went to Costco for a few more things, had lunch, took A.J. to school. All the usual things. We'll have to see how haircuts go this afternoon.

We did manage to get a family picture this morning, even on the first try:


There was a Child Services hearing this morning about Spencer and his siblings. They were hoping to get a relinquishment from the legal father at the hearing and it didn't happen. Because they scheduled the hearing on such short notice, it was a new judge and new attorney's involved. In the first bit of wisdom I've seen from the state in this case, the judge rescheduled the hearing for a time when the original judge who is familiar with the case could hear it. So we are back to hoping they can get relinquishment from the legal father before then. I guess he told today's judge that he was ready to sign and the attorney representing him asked for that to be struck from the record. Oh bother!

I am sure there is more to say, but I am still physically and emotionally tired from last night. Watch for more about Spencer and A.J. soon.