I finally made it back from a three year journey with Harry and his pals that only took me about a week. But like other rabid Harry Potter fans, nothing else gone done while I was "away:" not laundry or other house work and not much else either.
In anticipation of the movie release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I decided to watch the first four movies and then start re-reading number 5. Two big obstacles got in my way almost immediately. First, A.J. had his surgery and while I could get some reading done at the hospital, I found I was interrupted enough that it made reading hard. The second obstacle was harder to overcome. I didn't much care for Harry when he was 15. He was a little whiny and full of teenage angst. But book seven arrived on store shelves and I knew I had to get through five and six before I could read seven.
Starting last Tuesday, I made myself read 250 pages a day from book 5 so I could finally get it finished. And I probably would have skipped straight ahead to seven, after all I was growing increasingly worried that someone would let slip how seven ends before I got the chance to find out for myself. But I loaned seven to my neighbor to read and she kept telling me, as others had, that I really needed to read six first to refresh my memory of what Harry's mission was in seven.
So glad I didn't skip ahead because all I really remember (spoiler alert for six, if you haven't read it and want to better stop reading now) was that Dumbledore dies and that Harry told Ginny he couldn't see her anymore because he had a dangerous mission to accomplish. I had forgotten all about the horcruxes which are really essential to the whole plot of seven. And I vaguely remembered there was a prophecy, but not what it was.
I finished six on Friday but knew that I had to take a little break because of all the things that had fallen through the cracks while I was engulfed in the world of wizards and witches. After all, we had a Primary Activity on Saturday that I had to be ready for. But as soon as the activity was over, I was right back.
I won't tell you what happens, but I will have to say that I wasn't disappointed by the ending. Thank goodness. I am happy to know now what happens to Harry Potter. But I am also a little sad too because it is all over. No more suspense waiting to see what happens to the "Boy Who Lived." I am intrigued to see what JK Rowling might come up with next. I have never been one to read science fiction/fantasy books before, but the way she writes and the things she comes up with are just amazing to me.
So farewell to Hogwarts, and to Harry Potter and all his pals, at least for now. The fun will start again for us when A.J. is ready to start reading them. I've already told him he can't watch the movies until he can read the books. But that will be a few years.
And now, back to my life. Right now, I'm still trying to remember what I did all day when I wasn't visiting with Harry and his friends. Guess it won't take me too long to figure it out.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
My Latest Creation . . .
My dear friend Vicki's birthday is today. Most years, it comes and goes and I some how seem to miss it. This year, she was in town and wanted to swing by and see us. Better not miss this one! She always tells me she likes the things I make (hopefully she isn't being polite since I made her wedding guest book and luncheon favors for her) so I started thinking late last week about something little I could make for her special for her birthday.
Seems like all of these little projects start out small and go from there. Took a visit to Roberts and Michaels just to get the right stuff for the project. Then since A.J. needed one more R&R day, I spent all of my Sunday putting it together. But I am pleased with the way it turned out.
I got the idea from Splitcoast (where else?) but this was my first attempt at modge podging all the sides of something. Actually the altered lunch box didn't take that long, but then I decided to make the matching cards and I am not sure why they seemed to take so long. But she said she loved it and her and husband were talking about where they could put it in their home. Makes the effort worth it.
Seems like all of these little projects start out small and go from there. Took a visit to Roberts and Michaels just to get the right stuff for the project. Then since A.J. needed one more R&R day, I spent all of my Sunday putting it together. But I am pleased with the way it turned out.
I got the idea from Splitcoast (where else?) but this was my first attempt at modge podging all the sides of something. Actually the altered lunch box didn't take that long, but then I decided to make the matching cards and I am not sure why they seemed to take so long. But she said she loved it and her and husband were talking about where they could put it in their home. Makes the effort worth it.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Angels Among Us
We are finally home again after six grueling days at the hospital. Having your child have major surgery is not something I would wish on anyone. However, I have to say that there is no where I would rather have been in this situation that at Primary Children's Medical Center.
From the moment we arrived, everyone was so sensitive to our family's needs. As we prepared for the surgery, Amber, a wonderful Child Life Specialist on staff, came to our pre-op room and helped A.J. understand everything the nurses and doctors where doing. She made that very stressful moment of A.J. leaving our arms for surgery so much easier by holding his hand and walking back with him.
Those next eight hours were very long and very intense. I had barely slept the night before and was so tired but every time I closed my eyes, I pictured my baby on the operating table with his head cut open and I couldn't sleep. We watched dozens of families come and go as their operations were completed and still we sat. Yet there were two wonderful receptionists in the waiting room always full of smiles and cheer who were enough to brighten this very dark moment.
Once A.J. was out of surgery and in the ICU, two more angels in the disguise of nurses helped us through that first 20 hours post op. Tracy was our day nurse and Teresa our night. Both watched out for our boy with such care and compassion that I will never forget them.
Then on Saturday afternoon when A.J. was moved to the Surgical Unit, a whole other group of angels were there to help us. Everyone of them put up with A.J.'s stubborn determination to not take his medicine and not to let us put his eye drops in. A.J. averaged one new IV a day and the IV teams were amazing! I can't even begin to list all the names of all the nice people who took such good care of us.
And we feel very blessed too. During the surgery, our doctor discovered that the growth wasn't causing A.J.'s hearing loss in that ear. He is missing the "anvil" part of his ear and it is repairable. Where before we were faced with permanent hearing loss, we are now looking at his hearing being at the low end of normal. This was a hard way to discover this, but what a blessing to be able to fix it. Even if is does mean more surgery which A.J. insists he doesn't want to have. But this one will be super easy in comparison.
And there was a 14 year old boy, named David, who had surgery the same day A.J. did with the same doctors for a similar, but larger growth on his right facial nerve. His family traveled all the way from Billings, Montana for the surgery and this was his sixth surgery to remove a nerve tumor and he needs at least one more for the same thing on the other side of his head. I can't imagine the sacrifice forced on that family to have to be so far away from home so many times. We are feeling blessed to be only 17.7 miles away from this great institution.
But we still have a bit of the "griff" too. The reason David has had to have all these surgeries is because he has Neurofibromitosis 2 or NF2. This is the genetic disorder that A.J.'s doctors want him screened for. We are trying to take things one day at a time and not get too worked up about it, but at the same time, we can't imagine having to go through this yet again. We have the paper work from the geneticists ready to fill out, but while we know a lot about A.J.'s birthfamily, there is a limit to that knowledge.
In the mean time, we can't come up with enough nice things to say about our doctors, nurses and the rest of the staff at Primary's. I've always heard good things and thought they must be wonderful, but having experienced it first hand, I can say that there are angels among us and they work at Primary Children's Medical Center.
From the moment we arrived, everyone was so sensitive to our family's needs. As we prepared for the surgery, Amber, a wonderful Child Life Specialist on staff, came to our pre-op room and helped A.J. understand everything the nurses and doctors where doing. She made that very stressful moment of A.J. leaving our arms for surgery so much easier by holding his hand and walking back with him.
Those next eight hours were very long and very intense. I had barely slept the night before and was so tired but every time I closed my eyes, I pictured my baby on the operating table with his head cut open and I couldn't sleep. We watched dozens of families come and go as their operations were completed and still we sat. Yet there were two wonderful receptionists in the waiting room always full of smiles and cheer who were enough to brighten this very dark moment.
Once A.J. was out of surgery and in the ICU, two more angels in the disguise of nurses helped us through that first 20 hours post op. Tracy was our day nurse and Teresa our night. Both watched out for our boy with such care and compassion that I will never forget them.
Then on Saturday afternoon when A.J. was moved to the Surgical Unit, a whole other group of angels were there to help us. Everyone of them put up with A.J.'s stubborn determination to not take his medicine and not to let us put his eye drops in. A.J. averaged one new IV a day and the IV teams were amazing! I can't even begin to list all the names of all the nice people who took such good care of us.
And we feel very blessed too. During the surgery, our doctor discovered that the growth wasn't causing A.J.'s hearing loss in that ear. He is missing the "anvil" part of his ear and it is repairable. Where before we were faced with permanent hearing loss, we are now looking at his hearing being at the low end of normal. This was a hard way to discover this, but what a blessing to be able to fix it. Even if is does mean more surgery which A.J. insists he doesn't want to have. But this one will be super easy in comparison.
And there was a 14 year old boy, named David, who had surgery the same day A.J. did with the same doctors for a similar, but larger growth on his right facial nerve. His family traveled all the way from Billings, Montana for the surgery and this was his sixth surgery to remove a nerve tumor and he needs at least one more for the same thing on the other side of his head. I can't imagine the sacrifice forced on that family to have to be so far away from home so many times. We are feeling blessed to be only 17.7 miles away from this great institution.
But we still have a bit of the "griff" too. The reason David has had to have all these surgeries is because he has Neurofibromitosis 2 or NF2. This is the genetic disorder that A.J.'s doctors want him screened for. We are trying to take things one day at a time and not get too worked up about it, but at the same time, we can't imagine having to go through this yet again. We have the paper work from the geneticists ready to fill out, but while we know a lot about A.J.'s birthfamily, there is a limit to that knowledge.
In the mean time, we can't come up with enough nice things to say about our doctors, nurses and the rest of the staff at Primary's. I've always heard good things and thought they must be wonderful, but having experienced it first hand, I can say that there are angels among us and they work at Primary Children's Medical Center.
Gray Hairs
When A.J.'s preschool teacher asked him a few months ago to describe what color my hair was he told her gray. Very funny. I thought maybe he had just heard me complain about all the gray hair that I have and thought that what ever gray was, it was the color of my hair. So then I quizzed him on some things that are really gray around my house. He knew they were gray. Then I asked him to tell me again what color my hair was, and he answered gray.
In the weekend Parade newspaper insert, there was a little blurb about David Gregory, an up and coming news anchor at NBC who frequently fills in on the Today Show. I would describe his hair as gray and thought he was probably in his 40's. Still prematurely gray, but a bit older than me. Turns out he is 36! That is really not that much older than me!
Unfortunately, I seem to have inherited the tendency for premature gray from my mother's side of the family. My Uncle Francis has always had gray hair for as long as I can remember and now he has a beautiful head of snow white hair that makes him look very distinguished. My gray streaks just make me look and feel old!
But it does seem like stress plays some role too. I discovered my first patch of gray hair when I was in my mid 20's. I had been working on a pretty intense project at the Governor's Office that required a lot of late nights and a lot of details to coordinate. Not too long after it was all over, I noticed a gray patch right in my bangs. I was sure the stress from the project had caused it.
The second patch of gray hair seemed to come from the Olympics. I coordinated the creation of a joint information center which carefully balanced the needs of dozens of local, state and federal government agencies. It was several months of intense build up and about four weeks of long days and nights of operations. That gray patch grew right where my part splits on the left side.
Motherhood has blessed me with a few random gray hairs over the past few years, but nothing as stressful as the past week has been for our family. Having a son endure a craniotomy and nerve graft and then spend 5 long days and nights in the hospital fighting the nurses and doctors at every attempt to help him get better was enough to develop two or three more patches of gray hairs on my head. As I look at my hair today, I see way more than I did before we went to the hospital.
The only upside to this whole thing is that maybe I will be blessed with a beautiful head of snow white hair too once it all goes. In the mean time, thank goodness for hair dye!
In the weekend Parade newspaper insert, there was a little blurb about David Gregory, an up and coming news anchor at NBC who frequently fills in on the Today Show. I would describe his hair as gray and thought he was probably in his 40's. Still prematurely gray, but a bit older than me. Turns out he is 36! That is really not that much older than me!
Unfortunately, I seem to have inherited the tendency for premature gray from my mother's side of the family. My Uncle Francis has always had gray hair for as long as I can remember and now he has a beautiful head of snow white hair that makes him look very distinguished. My gray streaks just make me look and feel old!
But it does seem like stress plays some role too. I discovered my first patch of gray hair when I was in my mid 20's. I had been working on a pretty intense project at the Governor's Office that required a lot of late nights and a lot of details to coordinate. Not too long after it was all over, I noticed a gray patch right in my bangs. I was sure the stress from the project had caused it.
The second patch of gray hair seemed to come from the Olympics. I coordinated the creation of a joint information center which carefully balanced the needs of dozens of local, state and federal government agencies. It was several months of intense build up and about four weeks of long days and nights of operations. That gray patch grew right where my part splits on the left side.
Motherhood has blessed me with a few random gray hairs over the past few years, but nothing as stressful as the past week has been for our family. Having a son endure a craniotomy and nerve graft and then spend 5 long days and nights in the hospital fighting the nurses and doctors at every attempt to help him get better was enough to develop two or three more patches of gray hairs on my head. As I look at my hair today, I see way more than I did before we went to the hospital.
The only upside to this whole thing is that maybe I will be blessed with a beautiful head of snow white hair too once it all goes. In the mean time, thank goodness for hair dye!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
The Dreaded Griff
Why is it that women worry? I've had this conversation many times with various friends in the past few months. Even when life if going well and things seem perfect, how many times do we start worrying about when the proverbial "other shoe" will drop. Welcome to the dreaded "Griff" or "Great What if."
I actually learned all about the "Griff" from this wonderful series of books my bookclub read called "In the Company of Good Women" by Nancy Anderson, Lael Littke, and Carol Morris. While the name was new to me, the concept was not. Seems I've had the Griff with me most of my life. When I was younger it was simple things like: What if no one talks to me at school today? What if I forget my lunch again? What if everybody laughs at me?
Then I got a bit older and started worrying about some of life's bigger what ifs: What if I don't get into college? What if my grades aren't good enough to get into grad school? What if I never get married? What if I never have children? What if I only have one child?
It seems like this week, with A.J.'s surgery looming, the dreaded Griff has taken over my life. What if I don't get my boy back after surgery? What if there is brain damage and my brilliant, active boy isn't anymore? What if this is the last chance I have to make memories with my son? What if he really does have neurofibromitosis and we have to do these surgeries for the rest of his life!?!?
Now I know most times the Griff posses irrational questions and often when the more rational "what ifs" come true the outcome is far less devestating that previously feared. After all, I never even applied to grad school and my life has turned out fine.
The chances of anything going wrong with the surgery on Friday are every so slight. Of course the doctors have to tell you about them to cover themselves but sometimes I wish they wouldn't. It only feeds the Griff. I will just be glad when it is all behind us so I can tell the Griff to take a hike!
I actually learned all about the "Griff" from this wonderful series of books my bookclub read called "In the Company of Good Women" by Nancy Anderson, Lael Littke, and Carol Morris. While the name was new to me, the concept was not. Seems I've had the Griff with me most of my life. When I was younger it was simple things like: What if no one talks to me at school today? What if I forget my lunch again? What if everybody laughs at me?
Then I got a bit older and started worrying about some of life's bigger what ifs: What if I don't get into college? What if my grades aren't good enough to get into grad school? What if I never get married? What if I never have children? What if I only have one child?
It seems like this week, with A.J.'s surgery looming, the dreaded Griff has taken over my life. What if I don't get my boy back after surgery? What if there is brain damage and my brilliant, active boy isn't anymore? What if this is the last chance I have to make memories with my son? What if he really does have neurofibromitosis and we have to do these surgeries for the rest of his life!?!?
Now I know most times the Griff posses irrational questions and often when the more rational "what ifs" come true the outcome is far less devestating that previously feared. After all, I never even applied to grad school and my life has turned out fine.
The chances of anything going wrong with the surgery on Friday are every so slight. Of course the doctors have to tell you about them to cover themselves but sometimes I wish they wouldn't. It only feeds the Griff. I will just be glad when it is all behind us so I can tell the Griff to take a hike!
Sunday, July 8, 2007
New Family Pics. . .
Our adoption caseworker suggested a couple of weeks ago that maybe we needed to update our family photo that is attached to our paperwork. Ugh. The last time I took A.J. to Kiddie Kandids it was a nightmare and I only got one shot that was even half way decent. But we decided that the best time to do this whole thing was before A.J.'s surgery since we don't know how long the left side of his face will be immobile after.
We got some other fun ones too:
I love the one of A.J. and James together! My boys, or as we call them around here, my bubby and my hubby. These must have been pretty important to me yesterday too because I was pretty upset after we left the first studio without a decent shot. And we ended up going to Sandy to get these taken.
It took us two tries at two different studios, but we got a family picture we can live with:
We got some other fun ones too: I love the one of A.J. and James together! My boys, or as we call them around here, my bubby and my hubby. These must have been pretty important to me yesterday too because I was pretty upset after we left the first studio without a decent shot. And we ended up going to Sandy to get these taken.I know some people think we do this too much. After all, we just had a great family picture taken a little more than a year ago and not much about our family has changed since then. I even have the same basic haircut! (Uh oh, must be time for a new one.) They do cost a bit of money too. But I also know that I never regret having them either. And I know I won't regret it this time either.
Of course all of this got me thining about our collage that is part of adoption paperwork too-- probably time to update that as well. But our new computer doesn't have Publisher on it so I've been trying out some new digital scrapbooking software. UGH! I don't know why I can't seem to translate scrapbooking from paper to digital and get it to look balanced and nice. Why is it so hard? Or maybe (more like probably) I am just making it too hard!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Children change EVERYTHING!
You all know that commercial for Johnson & Johnson products with the tag line, "Having a baby changes everything." It sounds so cliche. That commercial was really big right before A.J. came along. I would hear it and think, "Ya, ya sure. Everything will change. Of course it will." But HOLY COW! There is nothing anyone can tell you, or nothing you can do that really prepares you for how much change is really involved in becoming a parent.
For me, I feel like my adult life is divided into two chapters, B.A.J. (before A.J.) and A.A.J. (after A.J). B.A.J., my career was my life. I worked for the state for eight and 1/2 years in two different positions, both in public relations. But because I was in the right place at the right time, I did more in that time, than some do in 30 years. I wore suits and nylons. I traveled around teaching various aspects of PR and evaluating others work. I was president of my statewide professional organization and helped coordinate an Olympic operations center. I was respected by my peers!
A.A.J., none of that seemed quite as important any more. Motherhood changes the way you think and the way you feel. Movies that I had watched and songs that I had heard many times before, suddenly turned me into a blubbering idiot. Everything I did, I would stop and think, "how is this affecting my child." And the respect of my peers didn't seem nearly as important as the smile on my little boys face when he saw me.
But parenthood brings other changes too. I was reminded of this the other day when I finally cleaned my car. I don't rightly recall the last time it was done but I am sure that James is the one that did it. It all started because A.J. couldn't find one of his GeoTrax trains. (GeoTrax is another obsession around these parts.) Some how he got the idea that maybe it was in the car. I have no idea how or why, but we went out to look for it. Sure enough, it was under the driver's seat, along with several preschool projects, various happy meal toys, enough cheerios to fill a cereal bowl and other assorted necessities of childhood. None of these things would have been in my car B.A.J.
And I just got one of THOSE calls from the pediatrician's office. A.J. has very large tonsils, but I noticed the other day that the right one seemed unusually large and his appetite hasn't been the same since our trip. So I took him to the doctor who asked a million questions about how much pain he was in, how long it has been going on, etc. I knew the answer to exactly none of these questions because A.J. never mentioned anything about it until I noticed it. There was never any fever, or any lethargy or anything else. A quick strep culture came back negative so they sent us on our way. Today the doctor's office calls to tell me that he does indeed have strep throat. That means for who knows how long, I've been exposing every child in the neighborhood to it -- probably losing the respect of all my "mommy peers." Another thing that never happened B.A.J.
Still, I would never trade my A.A.J life for my B.A.J. life. A.J. turned our very upside down world, right-side up! And I don't know very many parents who would change things back to the way they were before their children joined their family either. Once those tiny creatures get into your heart, there's just no turning back. And that's a good thing.
For me, I feel like my adult life is divided into two chapters, B.A.J. (before A.J.) and A.A.J. (after A.J). B.A.J., my career was my life. I worked for the state for eight and 1/2 years in two different positions, both in public relations. But because I was in the right place at the right time, I did more in that time, than some do in 30 years. I wore suits and nylons. I traveled around teaching various aspects of PR and evaluating others work. I was president of my statewide professional organization and helped coordinate an Olympic operations center. I was respected by my peers!
A.A.J., none of that seemed quite as important any more. Motherhood changes the way you think and the way you feel. Movies that I had watched and songs that I had heard many times before, suddenly turned me into a blubbering idiot. Everything I did, I would stop and think, "how is this affecting my child." And the respect of my peers didn't seem nearly as important as the smile on my little boys face when he saw me.
But parenthood brings other changes too. I was reminded of this the other day when I finally cleaned my car. I don't rightly recall the last time it was done but I am sure that James is the one that did it. It all started because A.J. couldn't find one of his GeoTrax trains. (GeoTrax is another obsession around these parts.) Some how he got the idea that maybe it was in the car. I have no idea how or why, but we went out to look for it. Sure enough, it was under the driver's seat, along with several preschool projects, various happy meal toys, enough cheerios to fill a cereal bowl and other assorted necessities of childhood. None of these things would have been in my car B.A.J.
And I just got one of THOSE calls from the pediatrician's office. A.J. has very large tonsils, but I noticed the other day that the right one seemed unusually large and his appetite hasn't been the same since our trip. So I took him to the doctor who asked a million questions about how much pain he was in, how long it has been going on, etc. I knew the answer to exactly none of these questions because A.J. never mentioned anything about it until I noticed it. There was never any fever, or any lethargy or anything else. A quick strep culture came back negative so they sent us on our way. Today the doctor's office calls to tell me that he does indeed have strep throat. That means for who knows how long, I've been exposing every child in the neighborhood to it -- probably losing the respect of all my "mommy peers." Another thing that never happened B.A.J.
Still, I would never trade my A.A.J life for my B.A.J. life. A.J. turned our very upside down world, right-side up! And I don't know very many parents who would change things back to the way they were before their children joined their family either. Once those tiny creatures get into your heart, there's just no turning back. And that's a good thing.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Another confession. . .
I have another confession to make here. And I know that none of you will think I am the least bit biased when I make it. Here we go: my son is brilliant! Now I know that every mother thinks her children are special and brilliant and all that, but I know it is true about my son. His preschool teacher even told his grandmother that he was the smartest kid in the class and maybe she tells this to all of the moms and grandmas, but we all know it is true about A.J., right? So indulge a proud mother and read on.
Now, raising a child like A.J. isn't all academic joy! Brilliance comes with it's own set of "interesting problems." We bought A.J. a shirt a few months back that sums it up well: "It seemed like a good idea at the time." When we were painting our house a few months back, we had one of the neighborhood girls over to play with A.J. while we worked. After several hours of this, A.J. got bored and went upstairs I thought to go potty. But no, that is not what he had in mind at all. He went up to our room, grabbed my good craft scissors and used them to cut the cord on our TV, while it was plugged in. What would make a 4 year old do such a thing? Curiosity. And just ask my friends about the paint jobs he has done at their homes.
But there are plenty of joys too. A.J has discovered the wonderful world of jokes, just today. The first one, "What does a robot mommy sing to the robot baby? Row, row, row your bot!" And to follow it up, "What kind of key do you use to open a banana? A Monkey!" Of course because I laughed the first time he said them, now he wants to tell me them over and over again. I guess we'll have to find him some new material!
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