You all know that commercial for Johnson & Johnson products with the tag line, "Having a baby changes everything." It sounds so cliche. That commercial was really big right before A.J. came along. I would hear it and think, "Ya, ya sure. Everything will change. Of course it will." But HOLY COW! There is nothing anyone can tell you, or nothing you can do that really prepares you for how much change is really involved in becoming a parent.
For me, I feel like my adult life is divided into two chapters, B.A.J. (before A.J.) and A.A.J. (after A.J). B.A.J., my career was my life. I worked for the state for eight and 1/2 years in two different positions, both in public relations. But because I was in the right place at the right time, I did more in that time, than some do in 30 years. I wore suits and nylons. I traveled around teaching various aspects of PR and evaluating others work. I was president of my statewide professional organization and helped coordinate an Olympic operations center. I was respected by my peers!
A.A.J., none of that seemed quite as important any more. Motherhood changes the way you think and the way you feel. Movies that I had watched and songs that I had heard many times before, suddenly turned me into a blubbering idiot. Everything I did, I would stop and think, "how is this affecting my child." And the respect of my peers didn't seem nearly as important as the smile on my little boys face when he saw me.
But parenthood brings other changes too. I was reminded of this the other day when I finally cleaned my car. I don't rightly recall the last time it was done but I am sure that James is the one that did it. It all started because A.J. couldn't find one of his GeoTrax trains. (GeoTrax is another obsession around these parts.) Some how he got the idea that maybe it was in the car. I have no idea how or why, but we went out to look for it. Sure enough, it was under the driver's seat, along with several preschool projects, various happy meal toys, enough cheerios to fill a cereal bowl and other assorted necessities of childhood. None of these things would have been in my car B.A.J.
And I just got one of THOSE calls from the pediatrician's office. A.J. has very large tonsils, but I noticed the other day that the right one seemed unusually large and his appetite hasn't been the same since our trip. So I took him to the doctor who asked a million questions about how much pain he was in, how long it has been going on, etc. I knew the answer to exactly none of these questions because A.J. never mentioned anything about it until I noticed it. There was never any fever, or any lethargy or anything else. A quick strep culture came back negative so they sent us on our way. Today the doctor's office calls to tell me that he does indeed have strep throat. That means for who knows how long, I've been exposing every child in the neighborhood to it -- probably losing the respect of all my "mommy peers." Another thing that never happened B.A.J.
Still, I would never trade my A.A.J life for my B.A.J. life. A.J. turned our very upside down world, right-side up! And I don't know very many parents who would change things back to the way they were before their children joined their family either. Once those tiny creatures get into your heart, there's just no turning back. And that's a good thing.
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