Friday, November 20, 2015

Random Subject: Is There Anything You Regret?

I feel like I am actively avoiding the elephant in the biggest room in the world (aka the Internet).  Yes, I care deeply about what happened in Paris last week.  And yes, I have an opinion about the Syrian refugee crisis and it's taken straight out of Luke 10:29-37.  But that is all I'm going to say about that because nothing you say will change my mind, just like nothing I say will change yours.

So in order to actually have a post today that is totally off that subject, I decided to try something that I've never done before: a random subject generator.  Honestly, I didn't even know this thing existed on the web.  But my good friend Google did and it showed me right where to find it.  Lucky me!  (You can find it yourself right here: Random Subject Generator)

So what is the topic it chose for me?  "Is there anything you regret?"  Oh boy!  I almost hit the magic green button to come up with a new topic because this is something I try not to think about too much.  What's past is past and what's done is done and there is no going back.  So I try to forget the stuff that didn't go so well and focus on the good memories I have. But I do have regrets.  And they all kind of follow the same theme, even recently.

A few weeks ago, I ran into the grocery store to buy a loaf of bread.  Well, I didn't run because I was still wearing an aircast on my ankle, but you get the picture.  My family waited for me in the car so I was trying to hurry the best I could.  But I noticed a mom holding a sleeping child, all wrapped up in a blanket, also trying to pick up a few groceries.  And this was no baby or even young toddler.  Her little girl was bigger than most of us would carry around a grocery store.  In my head, I imagined that her husband had to work late and that her little girl was maybe sick and she needed a few things to get through the night.  Who knows what her real story was?  I never will.

My first instinct was to go up to her and ask her if I could help her.  Maybe hold her basket.  Maybe go get what she needed and bring it back to her.  Whatever she needed that brought her to the store carrying that precious sleeping child.

But I didn't.  Why didn't I?  I don't know.  Fear of stepping in where I didn't belong?  Fear that she was having a really bad night and might start crying or something?  (In retrospect, that's the kind of thing only I would do).  I really, really can't explain why I didn't other than to say my social anxiety got the better of me.

A few minutes later after I checked out, I noticed that she was leaving the store the same time that I did.  Finally, I said to her, "You look like you have your hands full, is there anything I can do?"  But of course then it was too late.  "No, I got it now.  Thank you."  She was very pleasant and even complimented my hairstyle.  But I regretted not offering to help her back when she could have used it.  I felt like the gal showing up to the dinner party and asking if there is anything I can do to help after everything has been brought to the table.

So the Random Subject Generator helped me remember something that I need to be more focused on: never suppress a generous thought.  If I see someone who looks like they need an extra hand or even just a kind word, I need to just do it. 

And maybe the Random Subject Generator will make a random appearance on my blog for time to time.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

We talked about that very thing last week in Sunday School. How many times have we let an opportunity to help pass us by? Or not let someone help us thus denying them blessings they should have received? I try to go by inspiration -- if I notice someone who I might not normally notice, maybe that's inspiration and I should be doing something. I wish I could say it was all the time but, of course, it doesn't happen that way. Some days I'm more sensitive to the Spirit and other days I'm not. We've all been where you were that night, Paula. I find when I think of opportunities I passed up, I'm more sensitive in the future.