A Shining Moment of Joy

"Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction." - Elder M. Russell Ballard, April 2008

A lot of things about being a mother are a real struggle for me.  Frankly, it's a lot harder than I ever imagined it could be in those years that I waited to have my turn.  Don't get me wrong, I love my boys fiercely but more often than not, they challenge me to the breaking point.  There are plenty of days where I drop into bed and wonder if I am doing anything right or if all the effort is just wasted.

Yesterday was not one of those days.  At least not for a few moments when I fully understood what Elder Ballard meant.

A.J. turned 12 last February.  Part of being that age in our faith is knowing that you will be called upon to give a talk in Sacrament Meeting, (our main worship service). Our Bishopric, understanding that he can be an anxious kid, cut him some extra slack and waited this long before asking him to speak.

He had a week to prepare but of course, (after all he is my son) put it off until Saturday afternoon and only did it then because we told him he had to write his talk before he could go outside and roam the neighborhood.

So he sat down at the computer and about 20 minutes later, had more than one full page of ready to go.  He printed it out and handed it to James and me.  I just barely skimmed the beginning of it to make sure he was on the right path and was pleasantly surprised at what he had to say.  But I didn't read the entire talk because I wanted it to hear it the way everyone else would for the first time.

When he stood up at the pulpit to give his talk, I think I might have been more nervous that he was.  After all, I knew just how hard it was for him to stand up there in front of all those people.  And to make it just a little more anxiety-producing, one of the other speakers was a young man who leaves on his mission this week so there were a lot of extra people in attendance and many unfamiliar faces.  And maybe some of my nerves had to do with not being sure exactly what he was going to say.

His topic: preparing now to serve a mission. And he hit it out of the park.  He really did. I know I'm just a little biased, but I'm allowed to be, right?   He started with a couple of jokes.  Here's my favorite:

In the (primary) song, I Hope They Call Me On A Mission it says, "I hope they call me on a mission when I have grown a foot or two."  Now if you can't tell, according to the song, I should be on a mission right now. I've already grown a foot or two.

(It's probably not as funny if you have to explain it, but A.J. is very tall for his age.  He's taller than all his Ernstrom uncles with no sign of slowing down anytime soon).

And he concluded his talk with this (and remember he's only 12 and cares much more about video games and science than writing and grammar):

We all know that you need to have a good attitude and be able to talk to people. If you lose it during your mission then how are you going to get anyone to hear you out. We all can prepare now for that kind of instance by sharing our brotherly kindness. We need to be able to want to listen to what people are going through and what they have to say about life. We all need to get along with our friends and family more often so that by the time we go on a mission we can already have a good attitude as not just a habit but our personality. 

Cue the tears!  These exact things are what I want the most for my children: to be kind and have a good attitude.  And just for a second, I got to see that something is actually sinking in underneath all that curly hair and preteen surliness.  There really are "shining moments of joy and satisfaction." And boy have I needed one lately.

So last night, when I climbed into bed I didn't have to wonder if all the hard work is really worth it.  Just for today, I can tell you it is 100% worth it.  Now all bets are off when I log in to check his grades and see all those missing assignments again. Then I'll need to be reminded to have a good attitude and be kind.